Starve

Mellow Soulmate AU.  Someone has decided to befriend Valthoron.  Can you guess who?  No Quenya names to be found here.  This is an idea brought to me by a random+anon on AO3 who wanted Valthoron to be loved by someone other than Thranduil.  Thus, this is a new side-arc of the Cheat arc and closely related to "Shame", "Collateral" and "Born" amongst a good many others.  Takes place in Mirkwood in the late Third Age.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Silmarillion

Pairings: possible pre-Valthoron x Tauriel (for once the female is not the OC LOL)

Characters: Tauriel, Valthoron (OMC) (mentions Thranduil, the Kinslayers and Varda)

Warning: non-canon compliant, past m!preg implied, slash and het, child neglect and/or abuse hinted, depression, ostracism, social and political stuff, but some fluffiness as well

Song: Why

Words: 1,358
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starve (verb): to perish from lack of food; to suffer extreme hunger; to suffer or perish from deprivation
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/starve

It was hard not to notice.

And to take pity.

After all, Tauriel was very young and a child of purely Silvan descent, no Sindarin blood flowing through her veins or old memories to dull her sight.  When she looked at the prince, she did not see anything more than a man whose features were slightly foreign and whose hair could easily have outshone the setting of Anor.  If anything, she found the recherche features and the tall, slightly bulkier build to be attractive and desirable.

There was no denying it.  Valthoron was a handsome man indeed, with his distinctly masculine face and build and his vibrant red curls.

But most did not see that when they looked at him.

They saw a golodh.  They saw something frightening and dangerous to be ostracized and avoided.  Some of them saw a murderer and a demon come to slit their throats in the night.  Some of them saw something a thousand-fold worse haunting their footsteps in the dark.

They were illusions painted over reality.  She understood that.  Truly she did.

But how no one could see through such flimsy facades baffled her mind.

How could they not see the self-conscious hunch of his broad shoulders when they sneered?  How could they not see the averting of those stunning blue eyes when they observed coldly?  How could they not see the sadness that washed across his face whenever he heard the sibilant whispers?

How could they be so heartless?

After all, what had he truly done?  Tauriel might be young, but she knew about the Kinslayings and the end of peace under the stars.  She knew about the strangers from across the sea bringing black terror and death and destruction, dragging it further and further and further east every year.  She knew that it was because of the Golodhrim that her people even now were suffering--for their greed and vengeful blood.

And yet, though Valthoron carried half of them in his blood, he carried half of their King's pale, cold poise and quiet wisdom as well.  He was not one of them.

He is one of us.

Risking his life for his people.  Protecting them every day and every night as did every guardian of the realm.  Side-by-side she had worked with him countless times and never had he faltered.  Never had he let her down.  Never did his care for the safety of his companions and comrades waver even for a moment.

If anything, Valthoron was as Silvan as any of them--more so than some of them.  A wood elf raised his entire life amongst the trees and the open sky.  Spending all his years living in talans and caves.  Knowing never the craftsmanship or the greed of the Golodhrim, but the peaceful and conservative lifestyle of those who made their homes in the Greenwood to the east.

How could they think that he was anything but another of their own people?

Logically, she knew it was his looks.  The cruel curve of his brow.  The harsh angles of his nose and jaw.  The powerful and unyielding set of his lips.  They never noticed the softening in his eyes or the little smirks that tilted the corners of his unyielding frown.  They never saw the strawberry blushes and the sweet downcast of shy eyes.  They never saw how he only wanted to fit in, to be able to talk to them without hidden tension and sit amongst them as friend to friend without discontent.

They were blind.

And she felt pity.  More than she would ever admit.

Because even those looks, angular and harsh, were a mask.  To hide away the starvation.  The longing for simple affection.  Friendship and comradeship.  Companionship and adoration.

To hide the flashes of stress and despair that wormed their way into his pale eyes when he thought no one was looking.

She wished people could see that his spirit was growing thinner and thinner with each passing decade.  Wished they would understand that there was more to their prince than his appearance and take a step forward in trust and faith.  Do something to help.

But then, Tauriel had never herself stepped forward to lay a hand upon her prince's shoulder in greeting and friendship.  Had never spoken to him passing, fleeting words of greeting that meant all the world.  Had never been brave enough to face the scorn she knew would follow from her peers if they thought she was consorting too closely with a man who looked like a killer.

Until now...

Until she saw the hollowed out darkness in his eyes as he sat beneath the boughs of the trees.

"My prince...?"

He looked up at her, and she knew he'd been weeping.  Nothing about him looked frightening now.  If anything, he was as intimidating as a mewling kitten with his puffy eyes and reddened nose.  With the fingers scrambling to wipe away the last vestige of shimmering tears.

"Lady Tauriel," he murmured, his voice cracking slightly. "What brings you here?"

It was at this point she was tempted to bow and dismiss herself.  To turn away and flee.  The whispers beat at the back door of her conscience, their seductive voices speaking of his strangeness and danger.  Of the difference in their positions.  Of how he would never glance twice at her.  Of how he didn't need her.

Her chest constricted tightly... and then released with a slow exhalation. "Are you... Are you well, my prince?"

Surprise flickered through those eyes.  Saddening, bringing a sinking feeling to her heart.  Had none ever been concerned for his feelings before?

"I have felt better," he finally admitted after taking a few seconds to absorb her question.

Now, though, he was staring at her strangely.  As though he had never seen her before.  As though she were something exotic and strange to be observed and documented within the recesses of his mind.

I have never spoken to him before outside of duty.

"If... if my prince would like to join me for shooting practice, perhaps it would help him to feel more lively?" Her voice suddenly drifted off into silence, and a flush was taking up residence upon her cheeks. "I mean, just a friendly competition of the bow and arrow, of course, to take his mind off heavy subjects..."

Ai Elbereth!  I sound like I am propositioning him!

Her embarrassment was nearly palpable, but his sudden grin seemed to sweep it away with frightening ease, leaving behind only something dazed beneath the blinding brilliance of the sun.  Tauriel would never admit it aloud, but in that moment she could scarcely think coherently of anything beyond his beauty and the rumble of his rising laughter.

The prince rose from the grass to his full, starling height, towering over her with his mussed red hair spilling everywhere. "That sounds quite fun.  If my lady would lead the way, we shall see who has more skill with the bow."

His crooked grin made her heart flutter.  Like this, he did not seem forbidding or dangerous at all.  More like a boy excited to have someone to play with.

So starved that he did not even question twice.  Just accepted.

And he was lucky.  Tauriel would never do anything to break his fragile trust if she could help it, not with the memory of his tears so close to the forefront of her thoughts.  Not with the images of his distant, hurt eyes stabbing and twisting at her lungs.  She wanted him to trust her.  To think fondly of her.

Maybe to be friends.  A woman could wish for that much, at least.

Grabbing his hand, she pushed aside her embarrassment and pulled him along with her to the training grounds.  Hang what everyone else thought!  She couldn't bear to think of how his hesitant smile would falter should she turn away now.

And maybe... just maybe... it would bring more life to that tiny smile.  Add some meat to his happiness.  And hide away the shroud.
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I just wanted to say again that this was an idea that popped up after something someone said in a comment on AO3.  Though I do think Oropher cares about Valthoron (and I might also say that things people say whilst drunk are not always to be taken to heart), it is definitely mostly Thranduil (and Amrod from the shadows) who care about Valthoron.  Possibly Legolas as well.  And thus he probably does need some more love.

Peter Jackson, of course, conveniently created another female character for me to use in my project without having to make up some random wood-elf chick.  I don't support Tauriel being paired with any dwarf, however.  Sorry, just not my cup of tea.  In any case, I imagine this taking place just after Legolas leaves for the Council of Elrond, or possibly after they receive news of him joining the Fellowship of the Ring.  Thus the upset.  In any case, I think it's kind of cute and will probably develop into another pairing in the future.

And the song today fits so well!  It made me ridiculously happy, actually.  Why by Ayaka is from the FFVII: Crisis Core OST and is absolutely lovely.  I hated it at first, and it takes a few listens to get there, but it's a beautiful song with gorgeous lyrics.  If you aren't into Japanese, look up the English lyrics and you'll understand kind of what I mean by it being too perfect.  Ah... I just love this song! <3

And for kicks, a picture of Tauriel by =AlessiaPelonzi on dA.  There's actually fanart of her already and the movie doesn't even come out for another two and a half or so months.