Mellow Soulmate AU. Some memories never fade away. They only linger like a shadow. Obvious play on the other stories this is related to (i.e. "Shadows" and "Fire"). I guess you could also say this is part of the Cheat arc and thus all of its derivatives as well, especially "Divided", "Victory" and "Delivery". Anything even remotely related to Legolas. Takes place in Ithilien in the early Fourth Age before Legolas and Gimli sail to Aman. And yes, there's some movie-verse in here. Because it was convenient.
Disclaimer: I don't own The Lord of the Rings (movie or book).
Pairings: implied Haldir x Legolas
Characters: Legolas, Gimli, Haldir, Aragorn (mentions Thranduil, random Rohirrim, the Valar and Nienna in particular)
Warning: non-canon compliant, some movie-verse, slash implied, politics, non-canon character death (depending on the canon), cultural stuff, royalty stuff, religious stuff, etc...
Song: Merche Funebre
Words: 892
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rain (noun): water falling in drops condensed from vapor in the atmosphere; the descent of this water
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rain
There was just something different about the rain. A sort of love-hate relationship that festered within his spirit. A sort of cradling warmth with the icy chill.
With the cool gentleness upon his face, soft fingertips that stroked over his cheeks as a parent would a crying child's. Legolas remembered his father telling him as a young boy that when the rain fell, the Valar wept, and those precious droplets were the tears of the Valar far away in Aman. Remembered finding comfort in the idea of those far distant figures of power and glory watching over his family and his people in their darkest hours. Mourning for their losses. Grieving for their horrors.
Covering his tears, so that the prince might cry silently and pretend his eyes remained dry. Until all the agonizing emotion was washed out of his body, leaving hollowness behind to fill again. Perhaps the Lady of Mercy was there, surrounding him upon all sides with her healing embrace, driving further away the overwhelming sorrow each day they lost a comrade to the encroaching darkness. Each day his father retreated in horror and fatigue, growing wane from fighting an overwhelming battle against an enemy far beyond their skill to defeat.
Always, the rain had been a comforting and soft companion. Allowing safety and sweetness.
But there were the days that he remembered none of its joy and beauty.
That the speckle of cold water upon his bare skin sent shudders of revulsion racing across his body as earthquakes over the land. He would look up upon the storm-wrecked sky and feel his heart dip down to his toes, all energy and liveliness draining from his limbs until all he wanted was to lie down and let it soak him through until he was numb.
To feel the cold. And nothing else.
Because it reminded him so of the towering fortress walls he so despised. Of standing overhead and looking down upon thousands of enemies in straight formation, their armor black and smeared with hand-prints of white. The marks of a traitor's cruelty and cowardice.
Remembered feeling the unpleasant crawl of unease down his spine when their spears shook the earth and their roars split open the night. All around him had stood his friends and comrades, facing down this nightmare. Aragorn, face set and stern, ready for war. Gimli, axes braced and eyes flashing in the dark. The men of Rohan spread about him, from the youngest to the oldest, some of their hope restored but their hands still trembling at the overwhelming tide of fear rising over their heads.
And Haldir.
Still, he recalled with perfect clarity the marchwarden's thin smile and flushed cheeks, the warmth of that strong warrior's hand braced upon his forearm in greeting, leaving behind a burn. The smell of wet leather and the golden boughs of Lothlórien floating through his head as a thick fog, addling his senses.
Of course, there had never been anything between them. Not even a kiss. Not even a caress. Legolas was a prince--the prince of another realm--and Haldir was a faithful servant of Lothlórien.
There had been nothing but the glances. The silent conversation and disappointment.
But it did not change the fact that he had taken comfort in the rain as he stood and caught the blond head in his peripheral. Taken comfort in the thought that the Valar were watching over them, knew that great tragedy and death would befall and wept, but were still there. So close they might reach out and touch across the vast echoes of space...
Taken comfort until he felt the wet lashes against his face at the sound of retreat and the screams of the dying. Until the rain blurred his vision, splattering until he wiped it away with his shaking hand. Only to find those familiar and beloved eyes fixed upon his face, distant and losing light so quickly...
But so tender. Reaching out as if with an invisible hand to touch...
Falling and falling and falling like the rain.
And Legolas could not drive it from his mind. Could not feel the cold touch of the Valar's tears and not have that ever-present ache build until he thought his chest might burst open in a shower of gore and despair and loss. No matter that he stared out at the beckoning ocean waves slamming into the coast hundreds of leagues away. No matter that Gimli stood at his side, hand upon his arm in friendship and understanding. No matter that everything was over and done with, the war long over and the dead long at peace.
Always, he saw that fortress. That army. That man with his smile.
And his sweet, dying eyes.
Always.
But at least when he stood upon the coast and stared up at the pale and sickly sky--pelted with rain until it curled his hair and soaked through his clothes to the bone--at least he could pretend to be the prince he should be. Cold and impeccable. Always controlled. Always detached.
At least he could cry and pretend his eyes were dry. Because no one could see the tears. Only theirs.
Small mercy though it might have been, he took comfort.
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Right, so on the pairing. I am honestly surprised it took me so long to come up with this. I feel like a complete idiot as well as a mainstream shipper even touching this, but as it didn't really advance anywhere (and was extremely convenient as a plot device in explanation of earlier stories) I went with it anyway. Besides, I already had plans for Haldir and this might allow me to backtrack for a while.
In any case, depressing. The prompt makes it a little hard not to be, after all. And it was such an awful, cold and shitty day on campus. I had to walk through the rain to get food and my feet were wet afterwards. And cold. It was unpleasant.
The song, to go with the depressing-ness, is Merche Funebre performed by the Warsaw Philharmonic Orchestra, and is also the end theme of Hellsing Ultimate OVA II. The end of that episode is so sad I almost cried. But the song made me sniffle just a bit. Especially with the funeral scene. And thus, I felt it an appropriate choice for today. It gave me those pleasant little shivers down my spine, if you know what I mean. So just listen for a minute and enjoy.
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