Addicted

Mellow Soulmate AU.  Humans age in the blink of an eye.  Caranthir knows this well.  Quenya names used (Carnistir is Caranthir).  As a side note, Haleth may very well have been going gray when Caranthir first saw her; she only lived to be seventy nine, after all.  She was at least thirty five when they met, but probably older if the Haladin had had time to create a permanent settlement in Thargelion before they were attacked.  Nevertheless, I took artistic liberties :3. Takes place in the First Age.  Introspective work.

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns the characters.

Pairings: Caranthir x Haleth

Characters: Caranthir, Haleth, random villagers

Warnings: AU, unhealthy obsession and infatuation, stalking

Song: Never Meant to Belong

Words: 747
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addict (transitive verb): to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/addicted

It was hard to breathe when he couldn't see her.

That was all that really crossed Carnistir's mind as he tucked himself up behind a thick tree trunk, hidden within the forest's shadows.  From there, he could see the small settlement of men spread out below, just a few houses that looked as if they would blow over in a strong wind.  It was not the sort of place one would expect an elven prince to spend his time watching.

But he couldn't not watch.  It had nothing to do with the dreary state of the settlement.  He could have cared less about the living conditions of the men and women scurrying about their little lives beneath his eyes, reaching the spring of their youth so quickly, passing through summer and fading into their winter in what once had felt like the blink of an eye to the elf.  One hundred years at most.  And then they were gone, as if they had never existed.

Now, time seemed to move even faster.  It felt as though every time he looked away from her, new wrinkles appeared around her beloved eyes, new streaks of white appearing in her hair.

His Haleth was growing old.

It did not change much.  She had already been going gray when he had first met her, when he had fallen hopelessly in love with her and her strong personality and her powerful skills as a warrior.  It was her strength which drew him forth, and her attitude which held him captive.

Not once had she ever given him respect.  She would not bow and scrape and beg before him for meager scraps.  She was independent, and she put forth every ounce of energy she possessed to take care of her people.  Even now, when her body was beginning to become frail, she still went out and worked with the men in the fields, still went on hunting trips, still did all the things her younger self had done.  Age had not removed an ounce of her spirit.

Nevertheless, Carnistir felt the time of her death approaching so acutely it was painful.

He shouldn't have been here.  It was just feeding the flames of his need to be around her, his One.  His obsession.  His addiction.  Just the sight of her was like a drug, pulling him in, holding him hostage.  Every time he came here, every hour spent watching the sway of her hips as she walked, watching her interact with the nameless, faceless men of the village, watching as she went about her daily routine, left him more attached.  Every time he pulled away to leave, to go back to his halls and his lands, Carnistir found it harder to make himself pull away.

Just one more moment.  One more second.  That was all he could say to himself.  Desperately, he would clutch at the bark of the tree, clawing away the outer layers, anchoring his body in place.

Now, he could barely spend a fortnight without sight of her.  In his chest, anxiety and panic ate away at him.  She was past seventy, well past the age where the bodies of men began to break down and die.  Any day, something could happen.  He could come back and find her vanished, as though she had never existed, her soul beyond the edges of the world.

The gnawing worry curled in his belly even as he watched her now.  She was dressed in ragged trousers as she hauled buckets of water to the house.  Most men would have said she was past her greatest beauty--indeed most would not have considered her beautiful at all, even in her prime--but he had never seen a creature so wondrous in all his life.  What he wouldn't have done just to hold her in his arms for an hour--

But she did not want him, and he swore he would leave her be.  Carnistir would not break his word to his One, not even if the oath kept him alone and in darkness, spiraling into madness.

He did not know what he would do when she was gone.  Maybe he would go completely mad.  Maybe he would fade away.  Or maybe he would spend the rest of eternity alone, balancing on the edge of sanity.

All he knew was that he could not imagine life without her.

And that was dangerous.
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Depressing, huh?  Poor Caranthir, you just can't catch a break, can you?  I'm sorry I'm so mean to you; I really do love you. :D

In any case, this was the song that was playing in the background when I thought of this idea (and thus I played it while writing this scene): Never Meant to Belong by Shiro Sagisu (from the Bleach OST).

At first I didn't want to write romance for this prompt, because it's so cliche, but it just happened.  And the unrequited part helps even things out.  And the stalking LOL.