Journey

Canon compliant AU (for now).  Nimrodel arrives at Edhellond and discovers that no one has waited for her arrival.  Or so it seems.  All Sindarin names.  This story is (obviously, I should hope) connected up with "Compromise" and "Dismiss", but they are not exactly all fitting puzzle pieces.  Lots of missing scenes in there, I should think.  Not much to say except that I have not decided whether I want to keep the tragedy of Amroth and Nimrodel or change it.  Choices, choices... Takes place in Edhellond in the mid-to-late Third Age.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Unfinished Tales

Pairings: Amroth x Nimrodel

Characters: Nimrodel, unknown someone (mentions Amroth, Arien, Varda, Nienna and possibly Ulmo or one of his servants)

Warning: canon compliant AU, attempted suicide, canon pairings, depression, semi-graphic drowning scene, mentions war

Song: Mellon Udrigle

Words: 1,098
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journey (noun): an act or instance of traveling from one place to another: trip; something suggesting travel or passage from one place to another
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/journey

It was the end of her journey.

And there was nothing.  Nothing at all.

Months of wandering through dense forest and mountain so lost she knew only the directions by the glimmers of sunlight between thick canopies, of searching endlessly for some sign of her companions and her lover, of scrapes and bruises and nights spent weeping hopelessly to the stars for guidance and blessing, and here she had arrived.

Behind her, spread out upon the coast in a white array of crumbling glory, was Edhellond.  It was beautiful, or once had been, before its silvered facets had faded to dull gray.  No footsteps marked the wondering of mariners and shipwrights, not passengers of ships that had long left its docks and bays.  There was nothing left of the haven but the remnants of a dream long since abandoned for brighter horizons.

Before her was the vast, writhing body of the sea, expanding on endlessly until it melded with the sky, too far for her elven eyes to behold.  Not a mast marked the shimmer of Anor as she slid down beneath the surface, gold rays turning scarlet.

No sound met Nimrodel's ears but the crashing of waves upon the cliff face below, white foam spewing upwards in graceful arcs and curls, reaching upwards with grasping, pale fingers and beckoning hands.  Hands that burned red in the dying sunset.  And Nimrodel could only imagine that they wanted to grab her and take her away from this deserted ghost of a place, away from this empty dream that no longer did anyone lay claim to.

Her tears fell and disappeared into the mist below, and she wondered if it was the Lady of Mercy who sent these waters to receive her in her despair, or if it were some darker power bent on wrathful justice.

For no ship awaited her here.  Nor did her one and only love.

There was nowhere for her to go but forward and there was no way she could turn around and go back, retracing her steps.  All around her, it seemed that the world saw fit to fall apart.  First her home.  Then her forest.  Then her people.

Then her life.

And he had been her brightest star--her hope, her prince.  Who had thrown away everything for her selfish desires and needs.  Perhaps it was fate that she end here without his love.  Perhaps it was nothing more than she deserved for using him as such.  He was probably dead in the mountain passes, body rotting and scavenged, having waited and waited for her to come whilst she tripped and stumbled between dense trunks and low-hanging branches.  Maybe he had been attacked by the enemy, a victim of the gathering darkness of the land.  Maybe he had stumbled and broken his neck upon the craggy rocks.  Or maybe he had starved in his vigil.

But no matter what had befallen him, she did not doubt that he was beyond her reach now.  Somewhere on the other side of this mass of water, looking out to the East with his wide blue eyes, wondering what had become of she whom he loved.  Wondering if ever he would see her again.

And she wanted to be with him.  Here or in Aman--she didn't think she cared any longer.  Damn the light and the darkness.  So long as she could touch him.  So long as their story did not come to such a tragic close and leave her grasping at air, alone and so very tired.

If you are watching over me... If you can hear me... The stars blurred within her gaze, spinning overhead.  Please, someone, take me to him...

Take me to him...

There was nowhere to go but forward.  And Nimrodel only paused to close her eyes as her bare foot rested over open air, cold mist tickling the sole of her foot, wriggling between her toes and tugging her towards her destiny.

Her clenched eyelids blocked out the celestial lights overhead, but she hoped their Mistress would grant her this last boon. 

Please, take me to my prince... my Amroth...

And then she fell.

And it seemed forever before she hit the water, but her breath was held in anticipation.  She did not blink, only thought deeply of all that had transpired and all the places she had traversed to get here.  All the obstacles she had faced, and the last one awaiting below.  For years and years, she had been moving and moving, searching and searching, but it was finally done.  She was ready to hold still.  Ready for his warmth.

It was that thought that carried her to the roaring waters below.  Their welcome was not soft like the gentle touch of the river at home, teasingly caressing her skin.  Instead, the surface slammed into her, a crack resounding with the surge of pain that engulfed her torso, stabbing inwards and drawing forth a scream.

But her sound never reached the sky, because the waves overtook her all too quickly.  As a frigid blanket pulled over her head, she was cut off from the stars and the wind and the air--cut off from all return--and felt her body sizzle from the sudden cold wracking like knives of ice.  Shocked, her lips parted, and she felt it surge inwards even as invisible hands gripped her ankles and dragged her down.

No longer could she see the cliff face.  Only blue and gray and black mixing and blurring together.  Spinning into the dying white.

It all twined together even as she took her first breath of liquid and choked.  In a myriad of shapes and twists, the water seemed to net her in.  And if the last thing she saw of this wrecked and ruined land was the glory of the sea wishing her a farewell, then she would be content.  For she would then awaken again, perhaps in the arms of her lover on the far shores to live in eternal bliss.

This was the end...

And she could almost swear... that she could see... his face...

Could see a hand reaching out to her with a broad smile, haloed in resplendent golden light...

Reaching towards the end...

Or, perhaps, her journey was not yet finished.  Perhaps, she thought as a rough, cold palm gripped her slender hand and pulled, perhaps she was merely crossing a bridge...

Perhaps, her journey was only beginning.
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I'm not sure how much of this actually had to do with the journey.  I suppose it may just have ended up being one of those catalyst prompts (like "Alcohol"... because, really?).  But it gave me ideas and a place to go, and that has pleased me greatly.  I am currently leaning towards Amroth and Nimrodel surviving, though even I'm not entirely certain where it's going to go.  The prompts will, no doubt, decide the fates of our lovely couple.

No news on Amroth yet.  I'll write his side of this story eventually, I know.  I'm kind of excited to see where it goes.  I have plans for Mithrellas, but not for these two, not until they either live or die.

The song for this story is Mellon Udrigle by Kim Planert.  Don't ask me about the name, I don't know what the deal with it is.  Makes no sense (the name, that is), but the song is absolutely gorgeous.  And, of course, the picture doesn't help avoid crying.  Dude, Pikachu at Red's grave!  It's so sweet but it's also extremely sad.  And the music fits with it so perfectly (with just that tiny little twinge of something that might be peace or hope or acceptance at the end to keep it from too much depressing-ness).

That is all I have for you today.  Happy reading.