Saturday, January 18, 2014

Awareness

Canon compliant AU.  Zeal Arc.  Celebrían takes her first real step into the alien realm of adulthood and disillusionment.  All Sindarin names.  Much longer than I had expected.  This is related to “Stop Time” and “Fade Away” as well as “Zeal”, but, to be honest, I’ve not actually written much of this pairing at all.  So, a first meeting story for all of you!  Takes place in Lothlórien early in the Third Age.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Silmarillion or the Lord of the Rings

Pairings: pre-Elrond x Celebrían

Characters: Celebrían, Elrond, Celeborn, Galadriel, other random elves (mentions Thranduil)

Warning: canon-compliant, possibly crush-like infatuation, supposed love at first sight, sheltered childhood, mentions of war and death

Song: Levi's Theme (basically piano version of Reluctant Heroes

Words: 2,179
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awareness (noun): watchful, wary; having or showing realization, perception or knowledge

For most of her life, Celebrían was oblivious to the world of men.

Celebrían had never bothered to take great notice of men before.  They flitted here and there through her life, both before and after coming to the haven of Lothlórien, mere ghosts in the background of more important matters and more important people.  The world she frequented was one of women and beauty and simplicity, not of war and death and the power struggles of male pride.

Days were spent embroidering or chatting with her lady’s maids in the quiet shade of the mallyrn.  Hours were spent seated at her mother’s side in quiet companionship amongst the womenfolk as they sat down by the river, uncaring of the grass staining their white skirts.  Baths would follow and were conducted with much giggling and gentle splashing in the softly caressing currents upon naked white skin.  There was always a soothing pair of hands to wash her back in the shallows and brush her damp hair each evening before it was braided into an elegant tail for bed.

Dresses.  Dancing.  Music.  All flowers and scents and softness.  It was a world separated from the outside.  A strange sort of obliviousness, she thought of it as, for she knew that beyond their borders much had been happening in the wide open world.  War had ended and the rebuilding of the world had begun.

But here, within these borders, she was detached from that chaos and dirt and horror, somewhere so safe and evergreen, so without a trouble in the world, that the hardships and realities of the lands beyond her home rarely even crossed her mind. 

Men simply fell into this category of realities of which she had no understanding, for they were strange and distant figures in her mind.  They might as well have lived only in distant Gondor or Ered Luin for all that she thought of or cared about their everyday comings and goings.

There was, of course, her father.  Celeborn would kiss her upon the cheek and smile at her crookedly each morning they broke their fast together.  Her uncle Orodreth was also a permanent fixture, but the mild-mannered healer was far from what Celebrían would have considered to be the ideal and stereotypical male specimen.  Really, it was just her and her mother and endless days of blissful ignorance.

Until they had a visitor.

It was exciting—novel—at first thought.  They did not get visitors here, for they were a private people.  The elves of the Woodland Realm did not like to stray so far south—indeed, their king was not overly fond of the Lady of Lothlórien no matter that he had once been friends with its Lord, her husband—and the scattered people of Eregion and Lindon were by no means cast aside but neither were they overtly welcome.

A newcomer was different and refreshing.  Celebrían well remembered gathering herself and her lady’s in waiting, clutching at the lace and softness of her dress as she swept across the grassy clearings with bare feet and climbed into a tree to get her first look at the stranger astride his dark horse draped in equally dark robes.

“My Lady,” one of her girls called softly, “My Lady, please, you should not be this far out of the city without an escort.”

“Hush,” she called back, straining for a better vantage point. “He is nearly around the corner!”

“My Lady…”

They were nervous, and Celebrían understood that to some extent, but who would hurt her within the borders of their fair realm, the mallyrn and the songbirds?  And, anyway, her curiosity so often got the better of her “proper” upbringing and graceful, womanly manners that they out to have been used to her antics by now.  She did not want to wait until dinner to see this interesting anomaly in her life of sheltered comfort.

Indeed, the wait was worth the trouble of snagging her dress thrice on the way up and scraping her palms on rough wood at the crook of two massive limbs.  Poised in place, high over the head of the stranger, she caught her first glimpse of his face.

His beautiful face.

Powerful features, slightly rugged, older than any elf’s face she had ever seen but by no means wrinkled or repulsive.  There was a firm furrow in the brow and a sternly downturned mouth, but they did nothing to decrease the unique glimmer of dark gray eyes or the graceful tilt of the head.  Regal, like a prince, and straight upright, like a warrior.  It was a posture she had seen in her father before, but…

But this man was nothing like her father.  Tall, broader in the shoulders, stronger and sharper in the features.  And with dark, dark hair.  The moonless night shade that allowed the stars of his eyes to be seen in all their magnificence.

The princess, for the first time, felt a blush form upon her cheeks at the sight of a member of the opposite gender.  And he had not even realized how she spied upon him from the boughs overhead.

“My Lady!” The hiss was urgent. “Please, my Lady, we need to prepare you for evening meal.  You have twigs in your hair… Please come down…”

Twigs and leaves in her hair, scratches and a few splinters in her palms, tears at the seams of her dress… What a hooligan—what a child—she would have looked had he seen her in that moment!  Suddenly more embarrassed than she could ever recall—for she had never felt embarrassed about any sort of unkempt appearance before—Celebrían vaulted down from her position upon the young mallorn, hoping that she had not been spotted by those extraordinarily incisive, clever eyes.

Suddenly, the idea of bathing and grooming before dinner had its merits.

Her glanced down at her dirty hands, which normally she would not even have bothered to wash before eating.  And she imagined what he might say if he noticed their stains.

Bathing definitely had its merits.

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The princess was spotless when she made her appearance at the table for dinner.

Her parents already awaited her arrival, sitting in their usual places with her father at the head of the conservatively short private table, her mother poised upon his right side like a white-hot flame.  But, where usually she would be seated to his left, another person—a dashing and dark-haired person whose mere presence had her heart skipping a frantic rhythm in her chest—was already seated and amiably talking to the Lord of Lothlórien.

It was when her footsteps echoed upon the wooden floor that her father took note of her presence and smiled broadly. “Ah, Celebrían, iell-nín,” he breathed, beckoning with a hand for her to draw near. “Come and meet our esteemed guest.”

Oh Valar… Up close he is even more handsome…

Dreamily did she take note of every line and angle of his features.  The hair that had been modestly braided back earlier was now loose, elegant and complex knots tied into the hair framing his pale face and accenting even more his stunning eyes.  He looked less like a warrior now, and more like a prince or a dignitary with his ramrod straight spine and his perfectly folded hands.  But, more importantly, those eyes were upon her as she came forth, fixed and inquisitive.

Awareness stung her skin, prickling like needles and biting like a chilly wind. 

Her dress was flattering, the neckline just a hair lower than normally would she wear so that the top of her bosom and the swanlike arch of her throat were plainly visible when her hair swayed just so and parted in tantalizing silver waves.  Vaguely did the thought cross her mind that she hoped he appreciated the pearls inlaid upon her necklace that dipped down into the valley between her breasts in provocative silvered lines of pale skin.  As gracefully as she could manage—And why, oh why could she not pull of seamless and effortless harmony of movement like her mother?—she approached the table (upon the left side) and stood before the newcomer’s chair, desperately clenching her hands together to hold at bay the fidgeting.

He was looking at her.  He was looking at her!

“Greetings,” she murmured, wishing her cheeks had not darkened to damask when her voice wavered precariously.  Covering the slip with a faint dipping curtsey and a bowed head (anything to keep from looking directly into those eyes), she introduced herself. “I am Celebrían, daughter of Celeborn.  May the stars shine upon our meeting.”

And, gallantly, he stood beside her as she straightened, towered over her, every line of his body screaming of courtly perfection and a soldier’s straight posture.  Even when he bowed, he seemed to fill up all her vision, effortlessly capturing her attention when his lips air-kissed her knuckles. “I am Elrond of Rivendell,” he replied—and his voice was so smooth, so lovely in its faintly exotic lilt, in its stoic firmness tempered with just the slightest hint of warmth and kindles—as he rose back to his full height. “The stars do, indeed, shine upon our meeting.  How could they not shine upon one so radiant?”

The damask turned to blush.  Celebrían wished she had a fan.

“Sit,” Elrond requested, pulling out the chair at his side for her and waiting for her to delicately place herself upon its cushion before sliding it inward. “I was just discussing how lovely your home is.  I have never seen a place so beautifully preserved and timeless.  So peaceful.”

Peaceful.  Celebrían thought it rather boring, not peaceful or tranquil or even terribly beautiful.  It was simply as she always recalled, effortlessly wondrous.  But to this man, whose irises were darkened with sorrow and whose eyes were cornered by the faintest of crow’s feet, this place must seem like paradise.

A warrior, her mind provided faintly.  He has seen the battlefield.

Scarcely could she imagine what that must be like.  Tales in old history texts always made out everything to be so chivalrous, so amazing and full of bravery and great feats of power.  This man, however—for all his powerful stance and impressive posture—did not seen like those heroes in the old tales.

“Is Rivendell not peaceful, my Lord?” she asked.

Perhaps she had said something wrong, for his mouth tightened faintly. “Orcs still roam free upon the plains and in the forests.  Our valley is protected somewhat, but one can never be too careful so close to Hithaeglir.”

It was mildly chastising, like talking to a child.  The blush deepened to humiliating red as she thought about how she must sound.  Of course nowhere in Eriador or Rhovanion was peaceful!  War had just ended, and this man had been in the thick of its torturous grasp!

Foolishness and ignorance had never seemed so menacing before.  All eyes were upon her, eagerly awaiting a response from her slightly parted, stunned lips.  And Celebrían did not know what to say.

What should I say?  What should I do?

Luckily, her mother drew Elrond back into conversation with frightening ease, saving her the embarrassment of spouting out some equally naïve comment and pressing insult upon injury.  But the damage was already done; she could see in his eyes the sudden dismissal.  He ignored her.

She had never been so aware of her own faults either.  Her own failings.

He thought her a child.

And she, of course, was hopelessly enamored.

Shamelessly did she gaze upon that profile in the twilight gleam of the forest—the straight nose and the full lips and the long eyelashes—with searching, wistful eyes.

He was perfect.  Perfect.

And she had never been more drawn to a man in her life.

It was then that she knew—as she looked into her mother’s pale eyes filled with faint disapproval and glanced at her father’s half-hidden frown of consternation—that she wanted to marry this man.  This perfect, handsome, sweet, kind-hearted man.  Not only marry him, but understand him.  He had effortlessly piqued her fancy and her curiosity and her pride.

Effortlessly captured her in his web and left her skin and her mind and her heart crawling with sparkling heat and a lust to prove her worth in dismissive eyes.

Like her mother before her, Celebrían of Lothlórien knew exactly what she desired.  And nothing—not her parents or her upbringing or even her future husband—would stand in the way of her desires.

Such was the blood of the daughter of Galadriel.  Such was the blood of Ñoldorin fury tempered with Vanyarin charm and Sindarin wildness.

Elrond had captivated her senses.  And she did not think she could escape even had she wished.

But she knew that she wished not to be free.  Only to sink deeper into his wisdom.  Only to gain the fascination of his senses.


Only to earn the regard of his heart.

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